Our Little Blessing
by ReidsLuvr93
Summary: JJ and Reid are happily engaged, but what happens when JJ finds out they have a baby on the way? And what happens when JJ goes missing? How can she or Reid live though this? Will they crumble, or stand strong together?
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I haven't written in a while... and I'm a little out of touch with the Criminal Minds characters. I've been going through a lot of really bad stuff recently.... but, it's summer, and now I'm okay-ish. I'm going to try to write some and update some stories. **

---

Jennifer Jareau sat in her office as usual, going though potential cases, each one worst than the last. After an hour, it became too much. She sat down the file she was looking over and grabbed the picture frame that she had on her desk. Inside the picture frame was a picture of her and her fiancé/coworker Spencer Reid.

She and Spencer had been secretly dating for a couple years before they got engaged. But, when they got engaged two months ago, the team noticed her ring. They all of course asked about it, and that was when the truth came out. Hotch wasn't happy that two of his team members would date behind his back, but he let it go, their relationship had never effected their work before.

JJ smiled at the picture, they both looked so happy. Her head was tilted back as she laughed; Spence was smiling too, his arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

It was so perfect, it was her happiness. Just looking at this picture made her anxious to get her work done, so she could go home to their apartment. Where they would cook together, then spread out on the couch to watch some TV before going to bed, and what they did in bed, well, it was simply amazing.

She turned back to her files just as her phone rang, she picked it up absentmindedly.

"Jennifer Jareau." She answered robotically, reading over her file.

"_Ms. Jareau, it's doctor Trish Stanley."_ The voice on the other side said. Dr. Stanley was JJ's doctor, she had been for years. Lately, JJ hadn't been feeling well, and with swine flu going around, JJ had gone to get her blood tested. That had been two days ago, apparently things around the doctor's office was busy, it normally didn't take this long for blood results to come back.

"Hey Trish, are the blood results back?" JJ asked, turning all of her attention to the phone call.

"_Yes, Jennifer, you don't have the flu." _Trish said nervously.

"That's great! So, what _is _wrong with me?" JJ asked.

"_Well, Jennifer, you're… well you're pregnant." _The doctor answered. JJ couldn't believe her ears, the room started spinning. Pregnant? How could she be pregnant! Well, she knew how… that was obvious, but, they'd used birth control, she couldn't be pregnant. Not _now._

"Pregnant?" She whispered into the phone.

"_Yes." _Trish answered, _"Congratulations. We'll need to schedule you another appointment soon, to see how far along you are and make sure everything is healthy thus far. Do you want to do that now or later?" _

"Later." JJ answered, her voice still weak, "I have some things I have to do, I can't exactly think right now anyways."

"_I understand, but we need to schedule soon." _Trish said.

"I understand. Bye." JJ said hanging up the phone. She let her head fall into her hands. Pregnant? Now was not exactly the best time. There were so many cases, the team needed her. It's not that she was apposed to having children. She and Spence had been talking about when they would have kids, but definitely not _before _their wedding. They didn't even have a date set yet! What would her parents think? What would the team think?

"JJ?" A gentle voice asked from the door, she looked up to see her friend and coworker Emily Prentiss standing in the doorway.

"Hey." JJ said, composing herself and smiling weakly.

"Is everything okay?" Emily asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine." JJ assured her. "Do you need something?"

"JJ, Reid was worried about you, he called me, he said you weren't home yet. He took your guys' car, he wants me to drive you home." Emily said.

"What time is it?" JJ asked, last time she'd checked, it was only five in the evening.

"Nine twenty seven." Emily answered, JJ stared at her shocked. How long had she been brooding in her mind? Long enough apparently. And now Spence was worried sick about her, she wanted to punch herself, but she couldn't.

"Oh! Okay, I'm coming." She said standing up and grabbing her bag. Then she followed her out to the car.

The ride to their apartment seemed to take forever. Emily talked the whole time, JJ barely listened. She was now confronted with one of her biggest fears; how to tell Spence. Would he even want a child? What would happen if he didn't? She was strictly anti-abortion, so that wasn't an option. Would this ruin their relationship?

JJ climbed out of the car numbly. "Thanks for the ride." She mumbled to Emily before turning and walking slowly towards their apartment building. Before she knew it, she was upstairs in front of their door. She stood their debating what would happen if she didn't open the door, if she went back to the BAU for the night. She sighed when she decided that that'd be really bad. She could see Spence freaking out when he called Emily and she told him that she'd dropped her off already.

"Spence?" JJ called opening the door slowly. Not to her surprise, Spence was waiting for her, he jumped off of the couch and ran to her.

"JJ are you okay?" He asked when he saw her. He pulled her into his warm, inviting arms.

"Yeah, I'm great." JJ said, faking a smile. Spence looked at her with that face; the face that said 'I know you're lying'.

"JJ don't lie." He said sternly. "You look awful, you're so pale. C'mere, lye down." He said helping her to the couch. "Has the doctor called you back yet? Are you sick?"

"Yeah, she called back." JJ said, _'Great,' _she thought to herself, _'now I have to tell him.' _

"Are you sick?" He asked again, the worry on his face was growing by the second as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"No…" She whispered.

"Then what?" Spence asked, impatience filling his voice.

"Spence…" She started, "We're… uh… we're…"

"We're what? Please tell me." He begged. JJ sat up and climbed onto his lap, tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear, she stared into his eyes, so that she could read his raction.

"We're going to be parents Spence."

---

**So, I don't know how good or bad that was... so let me know, what do you think I should change? Anything? Nothing? **


	2. Chapter 2

**I would like to thank Sue1313, SparkleInTheSun, LoraLee2, and KimOfDrac for the reviews, they are appreciated. =D **

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"We're… we're… what??" Spence chocked after a minute. JJ relaxed a minute when he finally spoke.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered, searching his eyes.

"You're sure?" He asked.

"Yes." JJ sighed.

"That's… well that's great! Unexpected, but great!" Spence said smiling broadly.

"You're happy?" JJ asked, perplexed.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Spence asked confused.

"Well, we've got work, we're not married yet, what will our parents think? What will the team think?" JJ asked.

"JJ, honey," Spence said taking her face in his hands, "it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it's what you think. What do you think?"

"Well… I'm nervous, scared… but excited. I just don't know if now is the best time." JJ answered.

"Well, looks like we have to make it the best time." Spence answered matter-of-factly. JJ relaxed in his arms, curling into him, her head on his chest.

"Yeah." She whispered, before falling to sleep.

--

Spence kissed her cheek gently the next morning, they were in bed, tangled in each other's arms.

"Morning sleepy head." He said with a smile.

"Hey Spence." JJ said, her voice filled with sleep.

"You feel warm." Spence commented, feeling her forehead with the back of his hand. "Maybe you should stay home and rest."

"Yeah," JJ agreed, "I don't feel too good."

"Okay then," Spence said kissing her gently and rubbing her stomach. "I'll tell the team you'll be back tomorrow."

"Okay." JJ said kissing him back. Spence climbed out of bed and started to get dressed.

"Go back to sleep, I'll be back later." He assured her. She was asleep before he even left the room.

--

Spence drove slowly to work today, he needed time to think.

A baby? What if it turned out like him? He didn't want his child to go through what he'd gone through as a child. What if it inherited schizophrenia?? He would never forgive himself.

He couldn't tell JJ about these negative thoughts. He didn't want to hurt her. When Spence had taken JJ to bed, she had woken up. She told him how excited she was. Spence new that this was because the shock had warn off while she slept, and now her motherly instincts kicked in.

Spence sighed when he pulled into the BAU parking garage, he parked his car and slowly walked to the elevator. Then he walked slowly through the lobby, flashing his badge to the person behind the desk, and went up to his level. He groaned when the doors opened and Morgan walked by.

He loved Morgan, he really did, but some days, he just didn't want to deal with him. He sighed and stepped off the elevator, Morgan, of course, spotted him right away.

"Reid! Man where've you been? You're late!" Morgan called walking over to him.

"Got stuck in traffic." Spence grumbled, lying.

"Oh, where's JJ?" Morgan asked peaking around him towards the closing elevator doors.

"Home sick." Spence answered, he started walking slowly towards the bullpen.

"Is everything okay?" Morgan asked, he was really worried now.

"Yeah, everything's perfect." Spence grumbled, continuing to walk to the bullpen. "Morgan, where's Garcia?"

"In her office, why?" Morgan asked, confused.

"I need to talk to her." Spence said before taking off for Garcia's office. "Garcia?" Spence asked, knocking on the door cautiously.

"Reid! Come in, come in." Garcia called through the door.

"Garcia… I need your advice." Spence confessed.

"Dr. Spencer Reid is coming to me for advice? I'm honored!" She said turning to him as he walked in the room, her face dropped when she was him, he was a mess. "What's wrong?" She asked, turning all business.

"Garcia, you cannot tell. Okay? No one, not even JJ. Please, I'm begging you." Spence said.

"Okay, I promise." Garcia said.

"Well…" Spence started, letting out a sigh, "JJ's… pregnant…" He began. Garcia instantly started to squeal.

"Oh my God! Congratulations!" She squealed, jumping up and hugging him tight.

"I'm not finished." Spence gasped.

"Oh, sorry. Go on." Garcia said sitting down, a smile still on her face.

"JJ's excited… except she's worried about what everyone will think. But… I'm really scared Garcia." He confessed.

"Scared of what?" Garcia asked, concern painted her face.

"That I won't be a good father. That it'll be a genius like me. That it'll inherit schizophrenia…." Spence said, tears pricked at his eyes.

"Baby boy…" Garcia said walking over to him and putting a hand on his shoulder, he looked up at her. "One, you're going to be a great father. Two, what's wrong with being a genius? Three, don't let that fear stop what's already happened. She's pregnant, you're going to be a father, enjoy it. Don't let this take away your joy."

"What's wrong with being a genius is, all the kids tease you, you grow up to be damaged, feeling no good. And, how can I not be afraid? I don't want to damn my child in the same way my parents did." Spence said, looking up at Garcia desperately. "What do I do?"

--

**I thought Reid's reaction was appropriate, but please tell me what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'd like to thank SparkleInTheSun and KimOfDrac (well it's moving rather quickly cause I have something else in mind for the story) for your reviews. **

--

JJ opened her eyes slowly and looked around the room, Spence wasn't there. She looked at her clock and started to panic, it was eleven twenty three! She was late for work!

Just as she was climbing out of bed she remembered, Spence had told her to take the day off. She fell back on the bed with a sigh and placed her hand on her stomach.

"Well I guess it's just you and me." She mumbled to her stomach, which was still flat, except for the smallest bump that really no one could see. She slowly climbed out of bed and pulled on one of Spence's button up shirts, with no pants, and walked to the kitchen. She was starving!

After she made herself some eggs and toast she lounged on the couch, eating slowly and watching some TV. Once she was finished eating she laid down, her eyes grew heavy as she watched the TV. She curled up under a blanket, and soon she was asleep.

--

"JJ?" Spence called when he got home from work, it was six in the evening. He looked in the living room and the bedroom. He checked the bathroom and everywhere else in the apartment, JJ was no where in sight. "JJ!" He yelled, panic creeping up into his throat. He checked for a note to indicate where she'd gone, there was none. He whipped out his cell phone and dialed her phone, no answer, it was _here_! He dialed another number, tapping his toes impatiently.

"_Penelope Garcia." _The voice answered.

"Garcia, I can't find JJ!" Spence said into the phone.

"_What do you mean?" _Garcia asked, suppressing her panic.

"I came home and she wasn't here, there's no note and she left her cell phone, her purse is here too!" He said spotting the bag on the kitchen table.

"_I'll be right there." _

--

JJ woke up slowly from her peaceful nap, sudden panic hit her when she tried to stretch. There was something cold on her right ankle. Her eyes snapped open and she saw that she wasn't on the couch. She wasn't even in the apartment! Where she was, was a mystery. What she did know was that she was changed to the floor, only by her right ankle. She was laying in a twin sized bed with metal frames, there were chains on the bed, though they lay dormant at the moment. Light streamed through the window on the north side of the room, outside she saw trees, trees, and more trees. On the west wall (close to the south wall) there was a door. Just as she noticed the door, the handle started to turn.

Slowly a man entered the room, obviously trying not to wake her.

"Oh, you're up!"

--

"How long has she been missing?" Hotch asked Spence, the entire team had gathered in their apartment in the last hour. Spence's panic grew and grew, now he was barely holding himself together.

"I don't know!" He shouted. "She wasn't here when I got back from work! But I don't _know _how long she was gone!"

"Reid settle down." Morgan said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I can't settle down! JJ's missing, what if someone has her!" He said, borderline shouting.

"Reid it's going to be okay, we'll find her." Emily assured him, the rest of the team was pretty relaxed, only slightly panicked, the only other person who seemed as panicky as Spence was Garcia.

"Our baby…" He whispered, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Baby?!" Morgan asked, nearly shouting, Spence flinched away. The entire team, with an exception of Garcia, looked at Spence, their eyes filled with shock.

"A baby?" Emily asked, the same panic Spence and Garcia had been feeling, now welling up in her throat as well. Spence nodded.

"S-She found out yesterday, she had thought she was sick, the doctor told her she was pregnant… we just found out…" Spence said, his voice trailing off.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Hotch asked.

"We just found out yesterday! I didn't want to tell anyone without JJ, and she had a fever this morning…" Spence answered, his voice growing from a shout to a near whisper.

--

Later that evening, Spence and Garcia sat together on the couch, the rest of the team made calls and went through everything in the apartment, looking for a clue.

"Garcia, I can't loose them." Spence chocked, "I know I wasn't sure about the baby earlier… but I was just scared! I don't want to loose either of them, I love them both…"

"I know baby boy, I know." Garcia said pulling Spence into her arms.

"Garcia…" Spence whimpered, "I can't live without her."

"We'll find her, I promise we'll find her." Garcia assured him. "They're going to be okay, it's all going to be okay."

"I-I hope that she just went out and forgot her stuff…" Spence said.

"We all do, but we all know that's not likely. Maybe there was an emergency, with her family or a friend, and she was in such a hurry she forgot to take anything?" Garcia suggested, though she knew _that _wasn't likely either.

"Don't give me false hope Garcia…" Spence mumbled.

"They're going to be okay Reid. They'll be back in your arms before you know it." Garcia assured him.

"What'd I say about false hope…?" He asked weakly.

--

**Okay, I know you're all SUPER mad at me, but this was the plot! Though the story is going to be mostly them dealing with the after affects, cause I've been going through some 'after affects' of my own. Please don't kill me, but do tell me what you think! **


	4. Chapter 4

**I would like to thank SparkleInTheSun for not being mad at me (lol, btw I'm reading your story "Living in a nightmare" I LOVE it). **

**WARNING: there is sexual content (unwilling on our JJ's behalf) in this chapter, if you cannot handle that, skip over it, or don't read. I am apologizing ahead of time, I shouldn't even be writing this myself in my condition, but, idk… **

--

"Please don't hurt me." JJ whispered weakly as the man approached her bed.

"I'd never hurt you." He said smiling at her lovingly, "Ever." JJ cringed away from the man, crawling off of the bed and pressing herself to the corner of the room near her bed. She pulled her knees up to her chest, to protect her unborn child.

"Please." JJ whispered, tears streaming down her face, but the man kept coming, seemingly unaware of her protests. He knelt down in front of her, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Shh, it's okay now. I'm here, everything is going to be okay." He assured her, JJ stared at him in shock.

'_Okay?!?!'_ She wanted to scream, _'You've taken me away from my home! You're going to hurt me! You're going to hurt my baby! This is so far from okay!' _but she didn't, instead she bit her lip, she could feel her body trembling as the man grabbed her arms and gently pulled her up and placed her on the bed.

"It's all okay now, I'm here." He soothed her, slowly moving his hands down her side to her hips and moved around to her stomach, his hands touching the small bulge where her baby grew. That was easily mistaken for just a tiny bit of fat. He slowly unbuttoned her shirt and kissed her stomach, right over her growing baby. She wanted to scream at him, claw at him, anything to protect her baby, but she didn't. If she struggled, if she hurt him, he could accidentally hurt her baby, and at this moment, he wasn't threatening it's life. Her own instincts to preserve her own life, to preserve her emotional well being kicked in, but she suppressed them. Defending herself right now could get her baby killed, she couldn't do that, she wouldn't.

JJ closed her eyes and prayed silently, _'God please, don't let him hurt my baby, protect it please. Don't let anything he does to me hurt it, please God, please.' _

"Relax, I'm here." The man soothed again, moving up her body, running his hands up her stomach, gently caressing her chest, and kissing her tenderly. "C'mon, don't be like that." He said when she kept her lips sealed tight, his hands moved back down her hips, towards her stomach, towards her baby. She opened her lips willingly, to make it seem as though she was cooperating, so he wouldn't hurt her baby. She felt his hands grab the top of her panties, pulling them off; she kept her legs tightly together. His hands moved back to her hips and her stomach, she gasped, he took it as a gasp of pleasure, in reality; it was a gasp of fear. She opened her legs, she couldn't let him hurt her baby, she had to protect her baby, if this was the way she would do it. She would do anything for her baby.

--

"Why can't anyone find her! There has to be some evidence!" Spence shouted when the team reconvened, none of them had any evidence of a struggle, of where she might be.

"Or… Reid we need to consider that she left." Rossi said gently.

"NO!" Spence shouted, anger burned in his eyes, no one had ever seen anything like it. "She wouldn't leave me! She was happy! We were going to be a family!"

"Reid, Rossi's right, we do need to take that into consideration. Maybe she didn't want the baby and she thought this was the best way?" Hotch said gently.

"She wouldn't leave! Someone has her Hotch I can feel it! Someone is hurting her and we're just sitting here! We have to help her!" Spence shouted, the anger burning brighter and fiercer. Emily and Morgan backed away from where they stood next to him, Garcia was the only one who didn't budge.

"We need to examine every possibility." Hotch said trying a different approach.

"We can examine that one _later _Hotch! Someone has her and I know it! I can feel it! Hotch we have to do something! We need to rule out abduction _**first**_!" Spence shouted, nearly charging Hotch, he stood toe to toe with his leader, angry tears streaming down his face.

"Okay." Hotch sighed, whatever would give his youngest agent peace was fine with him. "We'll find her Reid."

"False hope…" Spence mumbled under his breath, he didn't want false hope. That's what the doctors had given him all his life, about his mother, about the possibility of him inheriting the awful mental illness. They always downplayed it. He wanted to hope to see JJ again, to have their baby together, get married, raise that child together. But the hope would crumble him again, but still he held on. He couldn't loose his JJ, he couldn't loose the love of his life. He couldn't. He'd die without her. He had to hope.

--

JJ curled into a ball on the bed, the man had left, to get fire for the fireplace she'd missed before, it was along the south wall, opposite of the window. Sobs wrenched her body, hot tears stung her cheeks, her body trembled, her arms, her fingers, all visibly shaking from fear, from pain. The chains around her right ankle were cold against her sweaty skin, she wanted to scream, but she couldn't. If he heard he'd hurt her, he'd hurt her baby. Her baby… her baby…

Her hands flew to her stomach and cradled it gently as she sobbed. Her baby… her baby…

--

"I found something!" Garcia nearly shouted from where she sat on Reid's couch with her laptop. "Her parents noticed a car outside of their house when she went to visit them last month. The same make and model was seen at her friend's house last week when she went to visit her. Both parties reported it after she had left. They said that once she left, it was gone. Since it was in two different states, no one noticed the connection…" Her voice trailed off.

"Why didn't I notice?" Spence whispered weakly, tears spilling down his face. "She had a _stalker_? I should have known… I should have seen…"

"Reid, do not blame yourself, do you understand me? This is _not _your fault. We will find this guy, and he will pay. JJ will be fine. Do not blame yourself Reid, do not blame yourself." Morgan said sternly, but gently.

"I should have known…" Spence whispered one last time before standing up and walking quickly towards their bedroom, slamming the door behind him. It was times like this he really wished he hadn't quit taking drugs.

--

**Eep! Okay, so, that was this chapter. If the rape offended you, I'm sorry. To be honest, I shouldn't write about those kinds of things, but it's an outlet for me, and it makes for a good story. =) **

**Anyways, JJ **_**might **_**be found soon, her recovery is more what this story is about, not the abduction, so if it goes kinda fast, that's why. **


	5. Chapter 5

**I would like to thank SparkleInTheSun (I thought Hotch might react that way cause of when Haley left) and JJfan09 for your reviews. **

--

Spence tossed and turned all night long, he tried to sleep, but the whole night he was wondering 'what's happening to JJ right now?' Their bed felt empty without her there in his arms. Eventually, around five am, he curled into a ball, letting the terror completely overcome him. Tears of pain and fear rolled down his face, sobs wrenched his body.

His fiancé, his child, they were gone. He didn't know if he'd ever see the love of his life again, he didn't know if he'd ever meet his child.

"JJ please come home… stay strong baby… I'm coming… I'm going to save you… stay strong… please." Spence sobbed quietly into the dark room. "Please…"

--

JJ lay curled into a ball on the mattress that was rather uncomfortable, her right ankle started to ache. Tears streamed down her face, she didn't sob, she didn't have the strength. Her hands cradled her small stomach, she prayed silently for her baby, the man was gone, as usual. He hadn't come back from getting firewood, so JJ was cold. Freezing in fact. She pulled the covers up over her, shivering.

"Spence…" She whispered through her tears, "Please save me…"

--

"I found him!" Garcia cried early the next morning from where she had set up again with her laptop on Spence's couch. Spence had been sipping his morning cup of coffee in the kitchen, his hair a mess, his eyes red from crying. The rest of the team was looking through what they had, which was nothing really. Morgan and Emily were in the kitchen with Spence. When they heard Garcia's cry they all gathered around her quickly.

"You found the guy?!" Spence asked, excitement evident in his voice.

"Yeah! His car had a custom made bumper, paper trails, paper trails." Garcia said triumphantly. "It says here he lives… he just bought an apartment two doors down!" She shrieked. Hotch got the apartment number and his name from Garcia and the entire team was out the door, running two doors down the hallway to the left, guns drawn.

"Daniel Smith, open the door!" Spence yelled, banging on the door. There was no answer. Spence stepped back and Morgan kicked the door in. Spence ran into the house, his gun still drawn, looking, searching desperately for JJ. "JJ!?" He yelled franticly.

"Reid… she's not here." Emily said quietly, and sorrowfully.

"There has to be something here to tell us where she is!" Spence shouted franticly, running through the apartment, looking for something, anything.

"The place is clean… Reid it's a dead end." Hotch said sorrowfully.

"He lived right down the hall! I never knew! I never knew! I should have known!" Spence wailed, "I should have known…"

--

"I found a second address." Garcia said half an hour later after more digging. "It's a property in the woods two hours from here. Several hundred miles of woods to be exact…"

"She has to be there…" Spence whispered, defeated.

"It's a lot of woods to cover." Morgan said.

"Then we have to go, we have to go now." Emily insisted.

"We need to assemble a search team." Hotch said shaking his head.

"_You _can assemble a search team, I'm going now." Spence said.

"Reid…" Hotch started.

"No Hotch! He has JJ, she's there somewhere, I'm not waiting around to assemble a search party! I'm going _now._" Spence said cutting him off. "I'll go alone if I have to."

"No, I'm going with you." Morgan said.

"Me too." Emily said.

"I'd have to change my shoes…" Garcia said with a smirk, "But I'm in."

"No." Hotch said firmly.

"Hotch _please_!" Spence begged, "What if this had been Haley when she was pregnant with Jack!" That stopped Hotch short, pain filled his face, Spence part way regretted saying it, but not for long.

"Okay…" Hotch whispered.

--

"JJ??" Morgan yelled into the woods as the searched, it was getting dark, they'd been searching for hours. The four of them didn't split up, because they didn't have walky-talkies.

"We should go back." Emily said looking up at the sky.

"No! Not yet!" Spence yelled, panic raising in his throat.

"Reid…" Emily started.

"Every minute we spend not searching, is another minute JJ is with that man! Another minute he's hurting her! Another minute he's hurting our baby!" Spence said with his voice raised, filled with panic.

"Okay…" Emily sighed, giving in.

"I see something!" Garcia shrieked, pointing at light coming through a window, past some trees.

--

The man kissed JJ tenderly, his sweaty body on top of her, he was inside of her. JJ cringed, she thought she was going to throw up, panic rose in her throat. She hated this. She hated having _him _inside of her. It was so wrong! So wrong…

"C'mon Jenny, relax, please." The man begged, stroking her hair gently. JJ took in a deep breath, trying so hard to relax… so hard… that was when his hands moved down to her hips. He had figured out that that was what would get her to cooperate, he couldn't figure out why, but he used it to his advantage. She immediately willed her muscles to relax, they didn't completely, but they did a little. "That's my girl." He said with a smile, kissing her again. He suddenly pulled away, they both heard a bang as the door was kicked open.

"FBI, freeze!" A familiar voice shouted. JJ could see Morgan standing in the doorway, pointing a gun at the man, she saw Spence and Emily behind him, she could hear Garcia's muffled screams of terror when she saw the man on top of her friend.

"Spence!" JJ screamed from under the man, the man growled angrily.

"So _this _is the reason you won't love me back the way you know you want to." He growled, smacking JJ across the face. "Stupid Jenny, stupid. Cheating on me was a really bad idea." JJ cringed away at the anger she saw burning in his eyes.

"Please... I'm sorry please…" JJ whispered. She shrieked when the man grabbed her by her hair, pulling her off of the bed. Her hands flew up to his hand, trying to loosen his grip, screaming and sobbing from the pain in her scalp.

"Shut up!" The man screamed at her, throwing her to the ground, on her side. She felt a stabbing pain in her hip, she let out a scream of pain. "I said **shut up**! You worthless bitch!" He yelled kicking her back. "You cheated on me! How could you do this to me!"

"Leave her alone!" Spence cried, "She's _mine_ not yours!"

"Reid, stop!" Morgan shouted as Spence advanced on the man. Morgan's eyes nearly popped out as the man grabbed Spence by his throat.

"What did you say?" He growled. Spence was frozen in terror.

"Spence no! Stop!" JJ screamed, standing up on shaking legs, using the bed for assistance. Once JJ was off of the floor, Morgan charged, praying Spence wouldn't be hurt too badly in the fall.

"You're under arrest." Morgan grunted angrily and he handcuffed the naked man, Spence rolled away from them gasping, grabbing his neck. He didn't seem hurt.

"Spence…" JJ whispered, that was all she could say before she collapsed.

--

**Well, what do you think? **


	6. Chapter 6

**Mkay, so another warning, if you don't wanna read about cutting, don't read this chapter. I shouldn't write about it, but it makes it more authentic, at least from my experience…. **

**Also, I've been considering the name of this story... I think I'll keep it, though it doesn't seem appropriate at the moment, I think it will by the time it's over.  
**

--

"The baby is going to be fine." The doctor assured the drowsy JJ who lay in a hospital bed, with Spence holding her hand. "See." He said pointing at the monitor. All they could see was a circle and a weird throbbing motion. Tears poured down JJ's cheeks when she saw it, Spence just stared at it confused.

"That's our baby?" He asked perplexed.

"Yes, and it's going to be just fine." The doctor said again before turning off the ultrasound machine and wiping the cold jelly off of JJ's belly. "And so are you, just rest, you'll be out of here tomorrow."

"Did you hear that Baby?" Spence said smiling at JJ. She nodded. She hadn't spoken since the found her, the doctor said she'd collapsed from stress, shock, and the hormones from the baby. Spence wished desperately that JJ would talk, just a single word, that's all he asked for. He sighed and relaxed back in the chair next to the bed, still holding her hand. He was asleep instantly; JJ on the other hand, lay awake for hours.

"_Why me?" _She asked herself over and over again, as images of that man, _Daniel_, on top of her played through her head. She could feel herself falling into a never-ending pit of sorrow and depression. The darkness consuming her. She didn't fight anymore, she lay there, letting the darkness overtake her. She felt the terror rising in her throat as she remembered, it suffocated her. She had to make it stop, she had to.

--

"JJ we're home." Spence said helping JJ to the couch, she still hadn't spoken. She just nodded and smiled at him gratefully. "Honey… I have to go to work… I installed locks on the doors, you'll be safe okay?" Spence asked. JJ felt the terror consuming her, she grabbed his hands, tears falling down her cheeks, more than she ever thought possible.

"Please…" She begged, it was only a whisper.

"JJ I have to… it's safe okay, I'll have Garcia come over, she'll be here in half an hour okay? Please JJ, trust me." Spence said whipping away her tears. JJ nodded, flopping back into the couch. "I'll be back." He said kissing her tenderly. She shied away from his lips, but not much. Though they comforted her, she wasn't sure she was ready for any intimate interaction. Spence looked a little upset by it, but he understood. He turned slowly and walked out the door. "Lock this behind me." He called.

JJ raced to the door, locking it. She locked all the windows and searched the entire house, once she was sure it was safe she began looking for a way to relieve her pain, her stress, her fear, her depression.

"_Well I can't drink_." She thought to herself. "_Can't take drugs_." That's when the idea struck her. She went to the kitchen and went to where they kept the knives. She picked one up with trembling hands. She pressed the blade of the knife to the upper side of her left arm, slowly dragging it along her skin, she didn't cut deep, but she could feel the relief instantly. A little blood dripped down her arm, but not much. She smiled a small smile and repeated the action again several times on that arm, then on her other. Her fear and pain was replaced with exhaustion and relief. She looked at her arms and started to panic.

"_Oh God! What will Spence say?? He can't see this! He can't see my arms!_" She panicked internally, she washed off the knife and put it back in it's holder when she heard a knock at the door. "_Oh no!_" She panicked, running to her room. She changed her t-shirt and replaced it with a skin tight sweater and sweatpants. She was a little warm, and the fabric made her cuts ache, that was something she'd have to get used to.

"JJ?" Garcia called, JJ could hear the panic in her voice. JJ ran to the door and unlocked it, letting Garcia in. "How you feeling?" She asked. JJ just smiled. "Aren't you warm?" Garcia asked eyeing her outfit. JJ shook her head. "Okay…"

--

JJ hated herself, she felt herself slipping into the deep depression again. She looked at the man sleeping beside her, though she knew he'd never hurt her, she still felt scared being in the same bed with him. She climbed slowly out of bed and went back to the kitchen and grabbed the knife, she rolled up the sleeves on her long sleeved pajama shirt and cut again. This time there was more, on the top and bottom of her arms, her hands didn't tremble as much this time. She felt the relief flood her again. She knew she was broken, she knew she was gone. JJ was gone. What was in her place? Well she didn't know. She rinsed off the knife and put it back again. Then she went to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror.

Her blue eyes were dead, her cheeks were pale, there were dark circles under her eyes. Could she ever be okay? She needed to be, for her baby, but it was so hard! She was consumed by darkness, by depression. She slowly stripped off her clothes and climbed into the shower, turning the water up high. She ignored the burn of her arms as she stood there under the warm water. She wanted to be okay… she had to be… but it was so hard. She wasn't JJ anymore, she had lost herself in that cabin. She wondered if she would ever find herself again.

Panic crept up JJ's throat when she heard someone walking in the hall.

"JJ?" Spence asked, his voice filled with sleep, JJ relaxed a little. It was just Spence. She heard him enter the bathroom, he didn't say anything for a good minute, and then the curtain of the shower was pulling back. "May I join you?" Spence asked cautiously, he stood there naked.

"No! Get back! Get away from me! Don't hurt me!" JJ screamed, backing away from the man she loved. She instantly hated herself for being afraid of him, but she was terrified. She yanked the curtain down and ran to the living room, dripping all over the floor, nearly slipping and falling, she caught herself on the back of the couch and kept running.

"JJ stop it's just me!" Spence cried pulling his pajamas back on.

"Don't hurt me!" JJ sobbed. Her brain was screaming at her that it was okay, it was just Spence, he'd never hurt her, but the new part of her brain was terrified, it screamed at her to run. But she was trapped in the corner of the living room. Spence backed away from JJ reluctantly, tears stung his eyes.

"JJ I'm not going to hurt you." Spence said reaching for her, JJ cringed away.

"Go away!" She screamed at him through her tears. Spence did as he was told. He backed slowly away from his broken, hurt, pregnant, sobbing fiancé, and it killed him to do it. He backed slowly to the bedroom and grabbed his cell phone, silent tears streaming down his face. He dialed a number and listened to it ring.

"Hotch you have to help me."

--

**Okay, so this chapter really hurt me to write. Because, well I've experienced everything I wrote JJ experiencing, it's not fun, but it's what happens… so I hope it was good… **


	7. Chapter 7

**I'd like to thank Sue1313 for reviewing the last chapter.**

--

Hotch arrived at the apartment ten minutes after Spence called. Spence had told him what happened, Hotch had been horrified. He didn't like to hear that the youngest members of his team were going though this. He raced there, thinking the whole time of what he could do.

"Hotch, come in." Spence said opening the door to let the leader of the team in, JJ was now dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants. Which was what Spence had set on the couch before retreating back to the bedroom. JJ was curled up in the corner still though, she cringed away as Hotch entered.

"JJ, can I turn the lights on? So I can see you, so we can talk?" Hotch asked soothingly, stepping towards the living room hesitantly. He could see JJ's head nod in the darkness. She was so consumed by fear she forgot all about her arms. Hotch switched on the lights, she heard both Hotch and Spence gasp in horror. Hotch hid the horror well though, not letting it touch his face, but Spence didn't. He stared at her arms, pure horror and pain filled his face. Hotch's eyes flickered away from her arms and to her eyes as he sat down on the couch across from her. "JJ, we're going to fix this."

"Please don't hurt me." She begged weakly.

"I won't, JJ, could you excuse us for a moment?" Hotch asked standing up. JJ nodded. Hotch grabbed Spence's arm and led him to the bedroom. "She wasn't this bad this morning." Hotch said.

"I-I hurt her…" Spence whispered, tears spilling down his face.

"Some of those cuts are several hours old." Hotch said.

"She wasn't this terrified at all today, not when I came home, not when I left. She was only a little scared. Then I had to go and try to get in the shower with her. I'm so stupid, so stupid… what have I done!" Spence sobbed, collapsing onto the end of the bed, his head in his hands. "What have I done…? Stupid… stupid… stupid…"

"Reid, this isn't your fault, but you need to be more careful. I'm sure this… well whatever this is will wear off soon. As for the cuts on her arms…" Hotch said, letting his voice trail off. Spence could see he was thinking.

"Be right back." Spence said standing up and whipping his face before walking purposefully towards the living room. "JJ, love?" He asked, stopping to watch her.

"Spence?" She whispered.

"Yes, it's me my love." Spence said, he smiled a little to himself.

"I'm so sorry!" JJ wailed, "I didn't mean to be afraid!" Though she was still terrified, the part of her brain that told her there was no danger was winning over the part that was telling her to run.

"JJ, can I come to you?" Spence asked cautiously, "I won't hurt you."

"I know…" JJ whispered before nodding. Spence stepped towards her cautiously, kneeling down ten feet in front of her.

"I'm not going to corner you," He said to her, "You need to come to me Sweetie, everything's okay."

"O-Okay." JJ said, she could feel her whole body trembling and she crawled towards him, slowly, pausing every now and then to read his expression, which was filled with nothing but love and concern.

"There we go." Spence said pulling JJ up into his arms. "You're safe now, it's okay." He said stroking her hair and kissing the top of her head. He rubbed her back as she sobbed into his chest. She curled into him weakly, no longer afraid, he was her protector, she knew that. She knew her terror was uncalled for, she couldn't let it happen again. She couldn't hurt him again.

--

_Three months later_

"JJ, wake up Sweetie." Spence said gently to the sleeping woman next to him. JJ lay in bed, her hair golden hair falling around her face, she wore a t-shirt that was two sizes too big, it fell over her hips and around her, Spence could see the small bump where their baby grew, it made him smile.

"Spence?" She asked, her voice filled with sleep, she smiled up at him, curling into him. Her arms were healed, the cuts from months before were now scars, but now her upper arms and lower legs were covered in scratches, she had changed location when she thought about work, who would want to work with her if she had self inflicted cuts up and down her arms? Spence smiled at her, despite the cutting, which hurt him every time she took the knife to her skin, she was doing better.

Right after the kidnapping JJ had had nightmares when she could sleep. She wouldn't talk, for weeks, for a month and a half, unless she got scared again. She had refused to eat, until Spence reminded her that the baby needed her to eat, but that was the only reason she ate. He had helped her through it though, and she was getting better, her cutting was less frequent and less severe. Spence didn't _let _her do it, he often begged her not to, but when she did, he'd comfort her and generally they'd talk through it. Now when she got 'the urge' she'd tell him, and he'd talk her through it, though sometimes she still did it. Spence could see the sorrow and depression in his soon-to-be-wife's eyes. She was broken, he could see that, but slowly they were putting her back together. There was light in her blue eyes again, a smile on her face. She wasn't as scared, and though she and Spence hadn't made love since she was abducted, they cuddled all night long, she'd wear just a t-shirt and panties. She was growing slowly more and more comfortable with being intimate with Spence again.

"Hey love." Spence said smiling at her and kissing her head. "C'mon, we need to get up, you have a doctor's appointment in an hour."

--

**The last chapter was really painful to write… so idk how much more I'll write about that, detailed at least. But I'll try to make it realistic as possible. **


	8. Chapter 8

**I'd like to thank SparkleInTheSun, Sue1313, and ewriter for your reviews. =) **

**On a weird note, have any of you read my story Changes For The Better? It was similar to this one (though it won't turn out as badly! Swear to God! Lol) but I was just rereading it and I did some STUPID things with that story. OMG… haha. **

--

"Jennifer." Dr. Trish greeted, approaching JJ, somewhat cautiously. "How have you been feeling?"

"Okay…" JJ answered, she was fine one minute, and terrible the next, but she knew that's not what the doctor meant.

"Good." Trish said smiling at her, "Lay back." She commanded gently, putting the jelly on the ultrasound thing. JJ did as she was told and watched as the monitor sprang to life, a small form filled the screen, the fast heartbeat filled the room. "Everything seems to be developing well."

"Oh my God…" JJ said staring at her baby, it looked like a really small human, it was her baby, her baby that kept her alive all this time. "Spence look!" She chocked, tears streaming down her face. Spence smiled at her lovingly, his eyes filled with tears, he could tell _now _that it was a baby, it was _their _baby. He squeezed her hand gently.

"I see, my love." Spence answered, his voice merely a whisper.

"Our blessing, our miracle." JJ whispered, "My life saver."

--

Spence watched JJ sleep on the way home from the doctors office, she looked so peaceful, her light, flowing blouse showed the smallest bump that was their child.

"Blessing… Angel…" He heard JJ mumble in her sleep. _"What on earth is she dreaming about?" _He wondered to himself as he drove, but he didn't care, she seemed peaceful. "My Angel…"

--

"JJ, Sweetie, it's your birthday." Spence whispered to his sleeping fiancé, nearly a month later. JJ squirmed in his arms, looking up at him with dazzling blue eyes, that had their life back, they're spark, only sometimes did Spence see that scared, broken woman. This child, growing inside of her, gave her hope. And now it moved, only speeding up her healing process. Her stomach had nearly doubled in size in the last month, though it was still relatively small.

"It is?" JJ asked, cocking her head a little to the side.

"Yep! C'mon, Garcia's here already, so is Emily and Morgan." Spence said climbing out of bed.

"Let me get dressed." She said, Spence shifted from foot to foot, unsure whether to stay or go. JJ had been better lately, they'd even come close to making love last night, though she had started to panic, so they stopped. "You can stay." JJ said smiling at him.

"You sure?" Spence asked, walking over to her and placing his hands on her hips, staring deep into her eyes.

"I'm sure." She said before turning away from him and pulling on some blue jeans, that barely fit, and a white blouse, that stretched to its limits around her stomach. Spence smiled at her stomach. "What?" She asked.

"Our baby." He said still smiling and pulling her into his arms, kissing her tenderly. JJ blushed ever so slightly.

"Yeah, I can't wait to find out what we're having!" JJ squealed, kissing him back.

"One more month." He said to her with a smile. JJ grinned back.

"One more month."

--

**Okay, short, but I wanted to write a lighter chapter, cause, well, I need it! Plus I'm in a good mood! Lol. And I'm SOOOO tired. And I have to babysit a two year old in the morning. **


	9. Chapter 9

**I'd like to thank Sue1313 for reviewing the last chapter. **

**I'm sorry it's taken me a couple days to write again. I've been babysitting and my bro was sick. On top of that I'm preparing for a trip to Virginia later next month. **

--

JJ stood in the middle of the bathroom, blood running down her legs. It was the middle of the night; the apartment was dark except for the bathroom night. She stared at her reflection, a knife to her wrist. She wanted the pain to end. For good.

She'd had another nightmare, he was after her, after her baby. She couldn't live with the pain, she couldn't bring her little Angel into this world where it could be hurt. She couldn't let it be hurt, ever. This was the only way, the only way…

--

When Spence woke up, he knew something was wrong. Faint light poured into their bedroom from the bathroom. The smell of blood filled the air.

He jumped out of bed, panic raising in his throat, threatening to strangle him. He ran to the bathroom, tripping over his own feet, silently cursing himself as he went. What he saw horrified him.

"JJ!" He screamed, she lay on the floor, blood pooling around her body, out of her wrists. "No! JJ no!" He could see she was still breathing, the bulge of their growing child rose and fell in small, shaking breaths.

"Please JJ no! Don't leave me!" He screamed as he grabbed the belts from the two robes that hung in the bathroom and tied them securely around her wrists.

"Spence," She whispered, "I'm so sorry, this was the only way. Our Angel…"

"JJ don't you leave me!" He screamed putting pressure on the cuts. He prayed inwardly that he could stop the blood before it killed their child. Finally he felt the blood slow and finally stop under his hands, JJ was still breathing, but barely conscious. He got up and ran to the bedroom, grabbing his cell phone.

"_911 what's your emergency?" _The dispatcher asked.

"This is Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid with the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI, my fiancé… she… she's attempted suicide, I stopped the bleeding but we need assistance! She's four and a half months pregnant!" He chocked into the receiver.

"_Okay Agent we'll send someone right away, what's your address?" _The dispatcher asked. Spence chocked it out to her before hanging up and running back to the bathroom to sit with his barely conscious bride-to-be.

"JJ please don't do this to me…" He begged, tears falling down his face.

--

"Reid what happened!?" Garcia wailed as she ran into the waiting room of the local hospital, Morgan and Emily were right behind her.

"JJ…" He chocked, Hotch sat next to the sobbing member of his team, a hand on his shoulder.

"JJ tried to kill herself." Hotch said looking up at the distressed members of his team. Rossi wore a mournful expression on his face from where he stood, ten feet from Spence. He and Hotch had arrived shortly after Spence and JJ.

"Is she okay??" Garcia shrieked.

"We don't know yet…" Rossi answered, staring at Spence with a look of pity in his eyes.

"The baby?" Emily gasped.

"We don't know." Hotch said in a low voice, though everyone knew that there wasn't much of a chance that it'd be okay.

"JJ… JJ don't leave me." Spence whimpered into his hands. "Please don't do this to me…"

--

"Spence." JJ chocked weakly from where she lay. Spence and the entire team entered her room. It had been a long night, it was nearly ten am. Garcia and Emily gasped at the sight of their friend, she had dark circles under her eyes, her cheeks were pale, her eyes dazed, she looked like a ghost.

"JJ…" Spence sighed in relief as he went to her side and took her hand in his. "Why would you do that…?" He whispered, staring at her hand, avoiding eye contact. JJ instantly felt guilty, she knew she hurt him, her heart sunk into the pit of her stomach.

"_What have I done?" _She thought to herself. "I-I had a nightmare…" She answered, "I-I can't live like this… I can't do this… Spence I'm not strong enough."

"JJ," Spence said taking her face in his hands, looking her straight in the eyes this time. "We can do this."

"I can't." She gasped.

"We can!" He said back, stronger this time, "JJ we can, please! Do you want to hurt me? We can do this JJ, but you have to help me, I'll make you better, just hold on."

"O-Okay…" She answered, tears falling down her pale cheeks.

"Why would you do this? JJ our baby!" He said again, the slightest hint of anger in his voice. "Do you not want to have this baby or something? Why would you try to kill you and it?"

"I love our Angel!" She screeched back.

"Then why?" He asked in a soothing tone, though he was perplexed as to why she called their baby 'our Angel'.

"I can't let it suffer! I can't bring it into a world like this! I can't condemn it to this hell! Look around, what do we do for a living? Do you want our child to be murdered, pulled apart piece by piece? Be raped? Stalked? Tortured? Eaten? Spence I can't bring our Angel into a world like this." She yelled.

"JJ we have to have faith, bad things happen, but good things can happen too." Spence said.

"On what planet." JJ mumbled.

"This one." He said staring into her eyes. "Faith JJ, we need to have faith that our baby will be okay."

"I'm so afraid…" She whispered.

"Me too my love, me too."

--

**Mkay, so that was the chapter. Lol. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to Sue1313, KimOfDrac, SparkleInTheSun, and LoraLee2 for reviewing the last chapter. **

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday, I had some sort of flu, was up all night throwing up and laid on the couch the rest of the day trying to hold anymore down. =( **

--

"The baby is going to be fine." The doctor assured JJ and Spence two days later. Spence sat next to JJ's bed, holding her hand, wishing he knew what to do.

"Does that mean I can go home?" JJ asked, relief surged through her, though she didn't want her Angel to be brought into such an awful world, she didn't want it to die without her. Now she knew how Spence felt… she felt so guilty for that.

"Maybe…" The doctor said cautiously.

"What? Is something wrong with my Angel?" JJ asked, panic raising in her throat.

"No, no, it's just, we suggest you be hospitalized." The doctor said.

"Like, for _mental _reasons you mean?" JJ asked.

"Yes." He answered.

"Spence don't let them!" JJ cried, staring at her fiancé.

"They can't make you, but JJ…" Spence started.

"Please!" She nearly shrieked, she didn't want to be stuck in a mental hospital; she wanted to be with Spence, try to carry on a normal life.

"The only other option is a suicide watch." The doctor said, JJ sighed. It was better than being locked up in a hospital, but she didn't want all her friends to be watching her, looking for ways she might try to kill her self and stop her before she does. She hated this, she hated herself for doing this. She hated herself for not succeeding.

"Okay, lets do that." JJ said, the doctor eyed JJ worriedly but just nodded.

"Okay, your release papers will be ready in ten minutes." The doctor said.

"Thank you." Spence said, shaking the doctors hand.

"No problem…" He said before turning and leaving the room.

--

"I'm going to go lay down." JJ said when she and Spence arrived at home, she wore a light blue shirt that fell down and around her growing stomach and some light blue jeans.

"Okay Sweetie, want me to join you?" Spence asked, a hand on her arm gently.

"No, I'm okay." JJ said, looking around, no one was in the house, yet.

"You sure?" Spence asked, eyeing her with concerned. JJ nodded and walked off to their bedroom. She essentially had "the urge", she kept a knife under their mattress, she was sure Spence didn't know about it. She just needed to relieve her stress…

"Spence?!" JJ yelled, Spence came running.

"What's wrong??" He asked, panic rising in his throat.

"What have you done with my knife!" JJ wailed, it wasn't where she'd left it, he had to have taken it. Spence let out a sigh and closed his eyes before opening them and stepping towards her, wrapping her in his arms.

"JJ…" Spence started, "You're on suicide watch, all knifes, belts, ropes, pills, and anything else has been removed from the house."

"I'm not going to kill myself!" JJ spat.

"You tried once, and just using a knife to do… this…" He said gesturing to her legs, "Isn't any better."

"Go away…" JJ muttered, ducking out of his arms, she was too hormonal and upset to see anyone right now.

"Okay…" Spence said, a tear slid down his face, guild squeezed JJ's insides, she tried to touch his face, to say she was sorry, but he turned and walked out the door, closing it behind him. JJ fell on the bed with her head in her hands.

"What have I done…!" She sobbed.

--

**Ugh! I know it's short, but I'm lacking on inspiration. Maybe another day will be better aye? **


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks KimOfDrac (**to be honest I kinda modeled Spence after my fiancé in this story, more or less. lol**), Sue1313, and SparkleInTheSun for your reviews! **

--

Spence sat on the couch with his head in his hands, silent tears falling down his face. He wondered what had happened to make them come to this. Though he knew, that stupid bastard who'd stolen his bride-to-be. Though he had her back, did he really? Would JJ ever be the same?

Spence was pulled out of his thoughts when there was a knock at the door. He got up and ran to the door, tripping over his feet as usual.

"Hey Reid." Hotch and Emily both said, smiling at him, Rossi stood with them as well.

"Hey guys." Spence whispered.

"JJ asleep?" Emily asked, Spence nodded.

"We're here to let you get some rest." Rossi said as the three of them stepped into the apartment.

"Thanks guys…" Spence said wiping off his face.

"How is she?" Hotch asked.

"She was exhausted, and I guess she wanted to hurt herself… but we took away her knife and she got mad at me…" Spence chocked.

"You're doing the right thing." Emily assured him, placing a hand on his arm.

"I guess…" He said, tears gathering in his eyes.

"Don't doubt what you're doing Reid," Hotch said, "She will get through this, you both will, you're doing the right thing, don't doubt yourself."

"Yeah?" Spence said looking up at Hotch, hope evident in his eyes.

"Yes."

--

_She was running, through those woods. She had seen them as Spence had helped her back to the car. She was barefoot; her feet were cut open from all the running. She panted from the effort; the stabbing pain in her swollen abdomen begged her to stop. Just as she started to slow down she heard it, the footsteps behind her, running after her. He was coming to get her! To get her Angel! _

"_Jenny!" He called after her. Panic drove her to run faster, the pain got worse, she felt something wet running down her legs, but she didn't look down. She was too afraid. "Jenny stop!" _

"_Spence!" JJ screamed, hoping, praying he'd hear her. "Spence help me!" _

"_Jenny I'm here! Stop it's okay!" The man called again, she ran faster. _

"_Spence!" She shrieked as the pain in her abdomen caused her to fall to her knees, that's when she looked down. She screamed when she did. _

_Her stomach! It was so much… bigger! And the blood! That's when she realized what has happening, her Angel! It was coming! In the woods with only this horrid man who would probably kill it the minute it was out of her. She screamed in horror, tears streaming down her face. _

"_Spence! Spence help! Our Angel!" She shrieked, her voice rough. "Our Angel! Spence help us! Save us!" _

--

"Reid man, wake up." Morgan said five hours later, he had arrived two hours ago, letting Rossi go home to rest. Spence was asleep on the couch, Emily in the chair. Hotch was in the kitchen, sipping his fourth cup of coffee.

"What?" Spence said waking up slowly and looking around, it was dark outside the windows, but the slightest bit of light was in the sky, it was probably about five or six am.

"Reid, I think JJ's having a nightmare, she's been moaning up a storm in there." Morgan said looking down the hallway with nothing but concern on his face.

"Oh God!" Spence gasped jumping off the couch.

"Be careful Reid." Hotch cautioned, Spence nodded before slowly walking down the hallway.

"JJ?" He asked, opening the door, he gasped when he saw her. Her hair was stuck to her forehead from all the sweat, she was flushed, the covers over her stomach rose and fell at an alarming rate.

"Spence. Spence help. Our Angel. Our Angel. Spence help us. Save us." She murmured franticly in her sleep.

"JJ I'm here!" He said rushing to her side and lightly touching her cheek. She sat straight up, her eyes wide; she let out a scream of fear and terror. "JJ it's me!" He said franticly.

"Spence!" She gasped throwing her arms around his neck, he held her tight.

"It's over Baby, it's over, it's all okay I'm here." He assured her, rubbing her back soothingly. "Shhh it's okay, I'm here."

"Spence, our Angel." She chocked, tears spilling down her face.

"It's all okay JJ, I won't let anything happen to it." He assured her.

"Our Angel… don't let him take us." She sobbed.

"I won't JJ, you're mine, you're both mine, I won't let him take you from me. You're safe, I'm here." He assured her as she melted into him, "You're safe."

--

**The end of that chapter I suppose! Lol I hope you enjoyed it! **


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you to Sue1313 and KimOfDrac (**heehee I think I am, he's really amazing. XD**) for reviewing the last chapter. **

--

Two weeks passed by slowly, Spence and JJ were up late nights, either because JJ had a nightmare or because she couldn't sleep. Hotch, Morgan, Emily, Garcia, and Rossi were in and out of their house at least three times a day. There was always at least one other person there. The nightmares never got better for JJ, each one was worse than the last. Spence didn't know what to do, he didn't know how to help her. Finally the time came for them to go to the doctors office.

"C'mon JJ, we're going to be late." Spence said through the door.

"I'm coming!" She called back before opening the door. She wore jeans with an elastic waistband that stretched over her growing stomach and a light pink woman's t-shirt that said _American Eagle _in big white letters up the right side of her stomach and chest. Her long silky blond hair was pulled up in a bouncy ponytail, there were a few hairs struggling loose around her face. Spence smiled at her lovingly, he could feel the wind being knocked out of him. She was beautiful, and so domestic at the same time, he loved it. It made him think about the mommy she was going to be.

"Hey." He said breathlessly, pulling her into his arms and kissing her. "You look, well you look beautiful."

"No I don't." She countered, she could feel her cheeks turning red. He chuckled and kissed her.

"You are beautiful JJ." He said, she couldn't argue with him, he looked so sincere and so sweet.

"Okay." She agreed and he laughed, kissing her one last time.

"Ready to find out what's in that stomach of yours?" He asked smiling at her.

"Yes." She breathed.

--

"How have things been going?" The doctor from the night JJ had tried to kill herself asked. JJ groaned, she didn't want to deal with _him. _She wanted Trish to hurry up and tell her what she was having!

"Great." JJ said with a phony smile.

"Dr. Reid?" He asked turning to Spence.

"Pretty well, she's been having nightmares, but nothing we can't handle." He told the doctor, feeling JJ's anger towards him.

"Alright, well if you need _any _help at all, you just let me know okay?" The doctor said before turning and leaving the room.

"Sorry," Trish said as she approached JJ from where she had been standing, "He insisted he check up on you, I told him to schedule his own appointment with the two of you but… he's not easily reasoned with."

"It's okay." JJ said laying back on the bed and pulling her t-shirt up to expose her swollen abdomen.

"Alrighty, lets see that baby of yours." Trish said smearing the gel on the ultrasound thing and put it on JJ's stomach. The monitor sprang to life, showing an even bigger, and more developed baby, the heartbeat filled the room. "Everything seems to me coming along great!" She commented, JJ smiled broadly at the monitor then at Spence.

"Spence look!" She said staring at the monitor.

"I see." He said squeezing her hand, smiling broadly at the monitor as well.

"Are you ready to find out what you're having?" Trish asked, JJ turned to stare Spence right in the eye.

"Are you ready?" She asked.

"I am." He nodded, kissing her tenderly before they both turned their attention back to the monitor as the doctor rotated it around so that she could see.

"It appears that we… have a girl!" Trish said smiling at the couple. "Congratulations!"

"Spence!" JJ gasped, tears falling down her face. "A girl, a daughter!"

"Oh my God." He gasped, staring at the monitor in awe. A girl? He needed to get ready to keep all those boys away, maybe Morgan would help him.

"Blessing." JJ cooed to her stomach.

"What'd you say?" Spence asked, eyeing her curiously.

"I um… kinda named her…" JJ said, ducking her head in shame.

"You did?" He asked, smiling at her, "What'd you name her?"

"I um… well… Blessing Miracle Reid…?" JJ asked, staring up at him worried.

"That's perfect!" He said, and he truly did love the name. "How'd you come up with it?" He asked.

"She's our Blessing, our Miracle. She lived through everything I've been through in the last five months, though she probably shouldn't have, and she saved my life, she's kept me alive, she's my Angel." JJ explained.

"Blessing Miracle Reid it is."

--

**Tada! Okay, it may be lame, it may not be. But it is my story to do with as I choose! Lol that's the good part about writing! XD **


	13. Chapter 13

**I'd like to thank ewriter for reviewing the last chapter. **

**Okay so I don't remember if we know JJ's middle name or not so I'm making it up. Lol. **

--

"JJ Sweetie, I've been thinking…" Spence said three days later, they were alone for once, and they were seated at the kitchen table. JJ wore a gray silk nightgown with lace and a matching robe open over it, her stomach showed large against them. Her hair fell around her makeup free face; Spence wore a pair of blue-checkered boxers and a t-shirt, his hair sticking up all over the place. Last night they had made love for the first time since JJ was taken, and they were both at peace about it, totally relaxed, and they both got a good night sleep for once.

"What's that?" She asked looking up at him over the rim of her mug of decaf coffee.

"Well… I think we should get married before Blessing gets here." He said, watching her closely to see her reaction. She nodded slowly.

"I agree, but I don't want to look like this," She said gesturing down at her stomach that was now rather large, "at our wedding."

"JJ," Spence said making his way around the table and kneeling down in front of her, taking her hands in his, "You are beautiful, and this is beautiful." He said gently kissing her stomach. "You would look incredible at our wedding like this."

"What will people say?" JJ asked, a slight catch in her voice.

"That you're the most beautiful bride they've ever seen." He assured her, kissing her tenderly. JJ sighed, giving in.

"Okay, but first, we need to go see my parents, I haven't told them about any of this yet." She said.

"Why not?" Spence asked, a little worried that she was ashamed of him.

"I never got around to it, with everything that's been going on." She answered earnestly.

"Oh, okay." Spence said, "I'll call Hotch and let him know what we're planning on doing and see if he'll let us take a couple weeks off."

"Why two?" She asked curiously.

"For the wedding." He answered.

"We need time to plan first!" JJ panicked.

"Garcia's got a head start on that. All you need to do is choose colors and a dress basically." Spence said smiling.

"Of course." JJ said laughing and rolling her eyes while Spence called Hotch.

--

JJ and Spence pulled up in the driveway of a small Pennsylvanian house, it was a nice house, two stories, yellow, surrounded by flowers, all shades of purple, yellow, and white. They bordered a cobble stone pathway that went up to the house, Spence heard JJ gulp.

"It's going to be okay." He assured her squeezing her hand before climbing out of the car. He walked around the car to open it for her and helped her out of the car. Spence wore a white and gray button up shirt and slacks, JJ wore a white sleeveless and strapless shirt that fell around her stomach, a short-sleeved knitted white sweater and light blue jeans, the front of her hair was pulled back elegantly, but her bangs were still in her face. JJ in hailed deeply, taking Spence's hand and walked up the cobblestone walk to the house.

"Jenny!" JJ's little sister Shay called running out the door. JJ's sixteen-year-old sister looked like a younger version of JJ, with the same long blond hair and blue eyes. Her sister's hair was pulled back in a bouncy ponytail, she wore blue-jeans and a lavender tank top that showed just how skinny the young girl was. JJ didn't flinch at the nickname that her rapist called her, Shay had always called her Jenny, and she loved it.

"Hey Shay!" JJ said catching her sister in a hug. "Oh, careful!" She cautioned her sister, pulling away a little.

"Jenny! Why didn't you tell us?" Shay asked, JJ could tell she was hurt.

"After what happened a few months back… I've been so busy…" JJ said, Shay saw the regret and sorrow in her eyes that she decided not to take it personally.

"I understand." Shay said smiling and hugging her sister tight again, "Congratulations! Do you know what you're having?"

"Yes," JJ said smiling at her sister, "A girl, Blessing."

"Oh my God congratulations! That's such a beautiful name!" Shay said falling into step with her sister as they walked up to the house. "Everyone, Jenny's here!" Shay called running into the house to find the rest of the family.

"Jennifer!" JJ's mother greeted, hugging her daughter. "Jennifer Lynnette Jareau! When did this happen?" JJ's mother had short blond and gray hair and looked like an older version of JJ.

"Oh… about five months ago, I've been so busy with everything that's happened…" JJ said, staring down at her shoes in shame.

"Well," Her mother said looking at Spence and back to JJ, "I guess I'm going to be a grandmother aren't I?"

"Yeah." JJ said smiling, "It's a girl, Blessing Miracle Reid."

"A granddaughter! Did you hear that everybody!" Mrs. Jareau said turning to the rest of the family who had just walked in. A chorus of 'oh my God's and 'JJ since when!'s followed. JJ and Spence were engulfed in attention for the next hour.

--

"So, Spencer," JJ's older brother Danny said eyeing him, "What is it that you do?" Danny was about six foot two, had sandy brown curly hair, and was quite muscular; he wore blue jeans and a t-shirt that showed off his chest and arm muscles. He was three years older than JJ.

"I work with JJ." He answered, "I'm a behavioral analyst."

"Do you carry a gun?" Danny asked.

"Yes, most of us do." Spence answered.

"Have you ever killed anyone?" Danny asked. Spence looked over at JJ for help.

"Danny… c'mon leave Spence alone." JJ pleaded, Danny just shot her a glance that said 'shut up'.

"Yes, but only so they wouldn't kill me." Spence answered, staring Danny straight in the eye. Danny looked him up and down.

"I guess you're alright kid. But you better take good care of my sis or you might have to try to kill me." He said. JJ and Spence had already told everyone about the engagement, and the fact that they wanted to have it soon. It came as quite a shock to everyone.

"Well I like him." JJ's sister Lynn interjected, Lynn was a year younger than JJ and had a two-year-old daughter named Samantha and an amazing husband named James. Lynn had shoulder length layered blond hair and JJ's blue eyes, she wore a light blue blouse and blue jeans. Samantha had curly blond hair with a slight redish tint and Lynn's blue eyes and light freckles along the bridge of her nose and cheek bones.

"As do I." Lynn's husband James agreed. James was around six feet tall with green eyes and strawberry blond hair; he had dark freckles along the bridge of her nose and cheek bones. Spence smiling slyly.

"He's cute too." Shay said leaning over to whisper in JJ's ear, JJ nudged her sister lightly. JJ's other sister Madison heard them and giggled lightly, Madison was twenty years old, she had long silky blond hair like her sisters, but she had deep, soulful brown eyes. She'd moved back in with her parents and her sister when her boyfriend was arrested for beating her, nearly to death. She was a sweet soul, Spence could see that.

For the first time in his life, outside of the BAU, he felt at home, he felt like part of a family. JJ had talked a lot about her family to him, but she never had any pictures, they'd burned when her apartment she had before she and Spence got one together was burned to the ground. Spence relaxed in his chair with JJ in his arms, knowing he'd finally found a place in the world.

--

**Well, tell me what you think! Lol and I know, there's a lot of Jareau offspring. I've always wanted a big family so…. **


	14. Chapter 14

**I'd like to thank KimOfDrac and Sue1313 for reviewing the last chapter. **

--

"Where's everyone going?" Spence asked JJ later that night.

"Lynn, James, and Danny all have their own places, Madison and Shay live here. So it'll be us and them tonight, my parents are going out with old friends of the family." JJ explained.

"Oh." Spence said watching them leave. After twenty minutes Shay and Madison got up to go get ready for bed, JJ and Spence followed suit.

"I think I'm going to go talk to Maddy." JJ said once she was changed into blue plaid pajama pants and a light blue t-shirt that her stomach stretched to its limits. Her hair was pulled up in a loose ponytail, just to keep it out of the way.

"Okay, should I wait here?" Spence asked, he and JJ were staying in JJ's old room that had been converted into a guest room.

"Yeah, I'll be back shortly." JJ assured him, kissing him tenderly before turning and walking out the door and down the hall to Maddy's room. "Maddy?" JJ called, knocking lightly on her sister's door.

"Come in." Maddy called, she stood in front of a big mirror brushing her long hair with a dazed look in her eyes. "Hey Jenny." She said smiling at her sister, though her eyes didn't refocus.

"I came to talk to you…" JJ said hesitantly, she felt Blessing nudge her from the inside gently; the action gave her the courage to step forward.

"You want to be better." Maddy observed her eyes refocusing as she turned to her sister.

"Yes." JJ breathed.

"I don't have the answers… I'm still not 'better'." Maddy said, staring down at her feet, ashamed.

"But you seem better." JJ countered.

"On the outside." Maddy said simply. "My scars and bruises have healed, I've learned to hide my pain, but it's still there, lurking, the fear…" Maddy's voice trailed off.

"Oh…" JJ said, she could feel tears gathering in her eyes.

"C'mon, lets go talk, the three of us." Maddy said guiding JJ out the door back towards her room. They both stopped when they saw Spence laying in bed, wrapped in a blanket, he looked so peaceful.

"Maybe we shouldn't wake him?" JJ suggested but Spence heard her.

"JJ?" Spence asked sitting up, his voice full of sleep.

"Hey Honey." JJ said coming to sit on the edge of the bed. Spence placed his hand on her stomach and kissed her tenderly.

"Is everything okay?" He asked looking between the two sisters.

"I think the three of us need to talk." Maddy said turning on the lamp next to the bed, the lamp had frosted glass lampshades with pink flowers painted on them. She sat down on the bed; she wore brown and pink plaid pajama pants and a big brown long sleeve shirt that fell loosely around her.

"What about?" Spence asked, not hiding his worry very well.

"Your problems, solutions, what to be prepared for." Maddy said setting down in the middle of the bed, sitting cross-legged and hunching over a little bit. JJ climbed into the bed next to her, sitting cross-legged also, Spence also followed suit.

"Okay, so tell us." JJ said impatiently, Maddy shot her a warning glare, JJ laughed.

"It's going to be hard, it's been seven months since Donald was arrested…" Maddy started, JJ could see the tears in her sister's eyes, she grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I'm still afraid he's going to come and kill me, I don't know what I'm going to do once he's released… the pain still surrounds be, but with everyone's help, I've forgotten, buried it. Sometimes I think that that's a bad idea, but many believe it's the only way to stay sane, come to terms with it and burry it. That's what you have to do Jenny, except what happened and move on. And you Spencer need to help her."

"How…?" JJ asked, taking in every word her sister spoke.

"I don't know, but you have to, for Blessing." Maddy said placing her hand on JJ's growing stomach.

"Aren't you hot?" JJ asked looking at her sister's long sleeves.

"Yeah…" Maddy said hesitantly.

"Then why are you wearing that?" JJ asked, she watched in horror as her sister rolled up the sleeves, showing deep purple scars all over her wrists and forearm.

"No one wants to look at that." Maddy said simply, touching JJ's light, fading scars. "Yours aren't so bad."

"God… Maddy…" JJ said, she couldn't be mad at her little sister, but she didn't want her sister to be so upset and messed up.

"When did he start beating you?" Spence asked, staring into Maddy's eyes.

"When I was fifteen… he avoided my face so I wouldn't bruise, but I had several trips to the emergency room for broken ribs. The doctors thought Daddy did this, but I told them that he didn't but I refused to tell them that it was Don, I loved him… I shouldn't have but I did… I still do…" Maddy said, tears rolling down her cheeks. "He wouldn't just beat me… he'd hold me down and he'd rape me… I was pregnant once… when I was seventeen, when I was about three months around he kicked me in the stomach… killing it."

"Maddy why didn't you tell me!" JJ shrieked, horrified.

"I was ashamed…" Maddy sobbed. JJ pulled her sister into her arms.

"Oh Maddy… I know." JJ said rubbing her sister's back soothingly, Maddy pulled away slowly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're the one I need to help. Not the other way around." Maddy apologized wiping her face.

"No, you're my little sister, I should have been there for you then, now we can both help each other." JJ countered.

"Thanks Jenny." Maddy said smiling at her sister.

"Hey guys, can I come in?" Shay asked walking to the door, there was a sad look on her face. She now wore lavender plaid pajama pants and a white t-shirt with the name of her favorite band, _Boys Like Girls_, written across the chest in lavender letters.

"How much did you hear?" Maddy demanded.

"Why didn't you tell us Maddy? About him? About the baby?" Shay asked approaching her sister with a hurt expression on her face, her questioned answered Maddy's.

"I told Jenny, I was ashamed!" Maddy said.

"You still should have told us…" Shay said staring at the floor, JJ got off the bed slowly.

"Shay, your sister's not proud of what happened to her, she maybe even blames herself, she probably wanted help so bad, but never wanted us to look down on her. Part of her knew we wouldn't, another part told her we would. Please don't be mad at her." JJ pleaded.

"Okay Jenny." Shay said smiling sadly at her sister. "Can I stay?"

"Sure, c'mon." JJ said climbing back onto the bed carefully, Shay followed her, the three sisters and Spence all sat on the bed cross-legged.

"Enough with this sad stuff, let's have some fun." Shay said smiling at her sisters.

"First, Jenny…" Maddy said turning to her sister and placing her hand on JJ's stomach. "Is Blessing Spencer's?"

"Of course!" JJ said staring at her sister confused, but then she understood what her sister was asking. "Oh God you think…?"

"Everyone does." Shay interjected, "No one wanted to ask but…"

"I found out I was pregnant before I was kidnapped." JJ said, both the sisters exhaled in relief. JJ laughed.

"Now can we have fun?" Shay asked with a slight playful whine to her voice, all three sisters laughed, JJ and Maddy nodded in agreement.

"We need some fun." Maddy said.

"Spence you don't have to stick around if you don't want to, you might not enjoy 'girl time'." JJ said teasingly.

"That's okay, I'll stay. Just don't try to get me to put on any make-up or dress me up." He said with a playful smile.

"Well we can't promise…" Maddy said, they all laughed at the look of horror on Spence's face, but he didn't back down. He was in for quite a night.

--

**I think I'll have a little bit of the 'girl time' in the next chapter. XD **


	15. Chapter 15

**I'd like to thank Sue1313 for reviewing the last chapter.**

--

"So Shay, got anyone special?" JJ asked her sister a little later that night, she was playing with her sister's hair, braiding it and unbraiding it. Maddy sat behind JJ, playing with her hair, Spence just watched the three girls with a smile on his face.

"Maybe." Shay said, Spence saw her cheeks turn red.

"Who?" Maddy and JJ both inquired.

"His name's Mark, we just started going out a month ago but we're already in love. He writes me songs and poems, he's great at playing guitar, and so sweet." Shay said with a lovey-dovey tone in her voice.

"Ooooo!" JJ and Maddy squealed, Shay slapped JJ's leg.

"Shut up!" She squeaked, JJ and Maddy laughed.

"Well congratulations." Maddy said to her sister.

"Thanks." Shay mumbled ducking her head, letting some of her hair fall in front of her face. Spence smiled at the three sisters, he'd been an only child growing up, it was nice to be part of a family for once.

"So Spencer," Maddy said looking at him with big brown doe eyes, "Tell us about your family."

"Oh um…" Spence started, looking at JJ for help.

"Maddy, he might not want to talk about it." JJ said turning around a little to look at her sister meaningfully.

"It's not going to kill him to talk about it, I spilled my guts earlier." Maddy said looking at Spence with anticipation.

"Well… when I was born life was fun, I was an only child. My dad and mom both loved each other… but when I was five, by then I was in the sixth grade…" Spence started.

"Wait, you were in the sixth grade at the age of five??" Shay asked looking at Spence in awe, he nodded slowly. "Are you like a genius or something?"

"Yes, I have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute." He said, he smiled when he saw their wide-eyed expressions. "I started reading at two years old, I couldn't sleep one night and I got a hold of _Moby Dick. _I was finished in two hours."

"Wow." Maddy said. "So what happened to that happy family?"

"When I was five my mom developed schizophrenia… seven years later my dad had finally had enough… he left us, I took care of her until I was eighteen, I couldn't… I couldn't take care of her… I left and joined the FBI, where I met JJ…" He said with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry." Maddy said smiling at him comfortingly. "I truly am." Spence shrugged.

"I just hope that I won't do that to my family…" He said, his eyes resting on JJ's stomach as he reached out for it. "I don't want to leave my family the way my mom did. I never wanted to have kids, simply because I didn't want to pass on my awful genetic traits, but now that we're having Blessing, I don't want her to grow up alone. I honestly don't know what to do."

"I say don't stress out about it too much, it'll all be okay I think. Besides, you must know the chances of you and your daughter inheriting schizophrenia right?" Maddy asked.

"Yes, I have a ten percent chance of inheriting schizophrenia, obviously Blessing's chances are a lot less, but the fear will always be lurking." Spence said.

"Well don't let it!" Maddy said reassuringly.

"I'll try…" Spence said.

"Practice makes perfect." Maddy said smiling smugly.

--

**I know short chapter, but I've had a rough couple days and I'm too sleep deprived to think of anything, I was up til 4:30 last night. **

**Oh and tomorrow I am going up to Bay City for fireworks with my family and uncle, so I won't update tomorrow. **

**Also, July 14****th**** through the 19****th**** I will be in Virginia visiting my fiancé and going to a Bible Teen Camp to see all my friends I haven't seen in a year. There is no cell service or wi-fi up on the mountain so I won't be able to update til I get back. =/ **


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